30 October 2012

30 October 2012

I NEVER GOT MY NECKERCHIEF!!!!!!!!  How is any self respecting Jack Russell supposed to protest without looking just a little bit rakish!  We went off to Perth, there were hundreds of people there, they were banging drums, blowing whistles, banging saucepan lids, the noise was incredible but I took it like a man (well like an almost grown up Jack Russell!).  There was a wee faux pas as we were setting off, we were being escorted to the Concert Hall by the police, we got to the first junction and I was just bursting - I just had to have a No. 2 and in front of all those people - still better out than in as they say!

The bint took me for a walk around Perth, there was a lovely park right next to the river and all in all I had a great day.  

The picture below is me at Eyemouth on the Sunday - I do love that beach!

We never made dog training, it was cancelled as it was going to be outdoors, the lady that was doing the dog training thought it might be too cold as we'd  had a scattering of snow and it was a bit chilly - sheesh, I'm wondering what these other pups are going to be like - bloody wimps by the sound of it!  Hopefully I will make it on this coming Saturday.  

I may as well come clean now, although IT IS NOT MY FAULT - the bint has bought me a Barbour jacket!!!  It was delivered today and when the boss' wife and Buddy came into the office I had to put it on.  The look said it all -  "You've made me look a right twat" look, well I mean.  I felt so embarrassed in front of Buddy - he's my hero for chrissakes and the bint made me wear a dog coat! (Although I did think the wee corduroy collar rather suited me!).

I really don't like these dark nights, it's all a bit of rush to get out for my tea-time walk before it gets too dark but the bint tells me the clocks change again in 27 weeks!

Anyways, the bint is looking longingly at a bottle of wine!

Laters all!

BB

 

17 October 2012

Hiya!

Well don't ask me what the bint has been doing with her time but it's shabby of her not to let you all know what we've been up to!

We've been to the seaside no end of times now, mostly Eyemouth but one weekend we went to Seahouses, I got ice cream there - we were sitting outside the chippie, I was sharing a haddock supper with the bint (not once has that bint given me a bit of batter or a chip - does she think I'm blind, I can see there's other interesting things in that cardboard carton apart from just plain old white fish!)  Anyways, back to the ice cream, this chap came and sat down with us, he'd got a Border terrier with him, he also had two ice creams in his hands and asked the bint if I'd like to share one with his dog - would I, of course I bloody would!!  We polished off the ice cream and the nice man was sitting there with the empty cornet in his hand - well it was just too much of a temptation, I just had to have it!  I must remember to be asked next time!

When the bint is working I sometimes go down to the stables with Buddy (he's a golden cocker) and his owner, first time I saw the horses I wasn't too sure but now I'm quite used to them, and I THINK they are getting used to me - trouble is, I'm a lot smaller than them and I'm not always sure where those feet are going to land and they look very hard and very heavy!  There's also collie pups down there, they are a couple of months older than me but it's brill fun!

I am off to Perth this coming weekend, apparently we are going on a protest march, my very first!!  The bint has a bee in her bonnet about wind farms, we were at a couple of exhibitions this week where she was doing an exit poll.  If they keep building these damned windmills there'll be no countryside left for me to run about in!  (These are not necessarily my views you understand - just that the bint keeps banging on about it!)  I'm secretly hoping she'll buy me a neckerchief just so I look just a tad trendy!

Holy moley - I almost forgot!!!  Sunday we were down by the river, the bint was getting her wellies on and this couple pulled up, they gave me a cuddle and had a chat and WALKED OFF - well excuse me - did I say I'd had enough cuddles!  I chased after them and leapt up behind her - it was only a wee nip I gave her arse, the bint was mortified (well she appeared to be in front of the couple whilst she was apologising!), the nice lady was very understanding and said "Aw he's only young" - I wonder how old I have to be before I can stop using that one as an excuse!

End of the month the bint is taking me for puppy training, I'm not sure what's what but I'll be sure to let you all know how the bint came out of it at the other end.

Laters all! (I'll try and drum it into the bint not to be so tawdry about updating my blog!)

BB

14 September

Just don't bloody ask - the bint says she's been busy, I know I am now IMPRISONED in my own garden (for the time being anyways!)

It's been ages I know and I have so much catching up to do.  A week past Monday she took me over the other side of town, it meant we had to walk past the Ladhope, well she thought she was walking past, I had other ideas, I remember the first time I went in there, I got crisps!  So if she thought I was going to look a gift horse in the mouth, well I never got any crisps but I got loads of cuddles off people.  We eventually got over to her pals. she has a dog too, so we had a great time but eventually I wore her out - I guess I'm a bit too boisterous at times!

Tuesday, the dreaded vet - I'd put on ½ a kilo but the blonde bitch (aka the vet) got me with a needle, but I took it like a man.  I'm not sure about putting ½ a kilo on in two weeks though, will this mean losing my racing snake figure?  There was no repeat of the chaos on the kitchen floor on Wednesday morning which I was a tad relieved about.

The rest of the week of quite uneventful really, I popped along to the Ladhope again, the bint said she was thirsty, but I now know where they keep the dog treats so I was quite happy.

Last Sunday, the bint picked a pal up and we were in my carriage for what seemed ages, when we stopped, holy moley! - more water that I've EVER seen, we were at a place called Eyemouth - my first visit to the seaside.  So many dogs to play with, so much seaweed to be dragged along the beach, rock pools to investigate, people were swimming in the sea, the bint thought they were mad.  I walked along the edge of the water but when my feet got wet I wasn't too sure about it and the noise when the waves landed made me a little nervous I have to admit but I got over it!

I have to apologise to the family that were having a barbie on the beach, I didn't know it was etiquette to be invited!  I just sort of sauntered up, well the dopey cow should have picked her burger up shouldn't she?  It was just THERE - what's a poor puppy who is bereft of all social graces supposed to do - well I just helped myself - didn't go down too well with the bint, I think I embarrassed her (something she'll just have to get used to!)

The other evening we went for a walk after dinner, I met a little terrier called Milly, she's quite cute and we had some fun together.  It started to rain, just a little bit but then the HEAVENS OPENED - I was soaked through, was I glad to get back home, the bint has a towel sitting on the radiator by the front door, I was SUPPOSED to sit down and let her rub me down with a towel - what planet is she on?  The rug was far better, I rolled and rubbed my soaking fur all over it, when I'd finished I condescended to let the bint use her poxy bloody towel! 

I NEARLY had an awful experience yesterday.  I've been barred from the field at the back of the office, you remember the film Babe, well I ain't no pig but I can herd sheep!  The bint is worried I might hurt the sheep, chrissakes, she saw what that sheep did to me last week, HEADBUTTED me and she thinks I might hurt the sheep!!!  Anyways, she walks me down a track next to an empty field, we were going for a wee walk the other day but the farmer from up the lane was there just shutting the gate.  He told the bint that he'd just put a bull in the empty field, man that thing was angry, you should have heard the noise it was making.  Back to yesterday, the bint was taking me up the lane towards the farmhouse, all of a sudden I was SCOOPED up, the damn bull was wandering up the lane - ON ITS OWN!!!!!!!!!  I was taken back into the office and DUMPED into my bed whilst the bint was looking for a phone number to get in touch with the farmer, we then heard the quad bike coming down the lane, so we went out to have a chat with the farmer when the bloody bull turned round and started coming towards us!!!!!!!!!!  Fortunately the bint had me in her arms and we disappeared round a corner so the bull couldn't see us.  Eventually he was returned to his field and we went for our walk.  I hope I don't sound like that bull when I'm horny!

Weekend coming up - don't know what's in store for me - hopefully we can go to the beach again.

Laters!!!

BB

27 August 2012

Well have I got news for you!  The bint ABANDONED me!  She was going to Edinburgh on Friday, so I was ABANDONED, yes I can't stress this too highly, ABANDONED at some dog kennel.  Well, I didn't know it was only going to be overnight did I, and actually I had quite a good time while I was there (but I wasn't going to admit this to the bint).  

I was picked up on Saturday morning, and I must say it's not the best I've seen the bint!  She took me to some car park, under a bridge,  you should have seen the size of the river that ran under the bridge!  No way I was going anywhere near that amount of water, the pond in the garden at home I can cope with.  Anyways I had a little run round, off the lead, dontcha know!  She thought I was going pick the bloody ball up and take it back to her, sheesh, she really does expect an awful lot of me, I picked the damned thing up but if she thought I was going to walk back to her and drop it at her feet, she can bloody think again, these legs are only little ya know, I don't intend wearing them out yet!

I went round to a friend of the bints, the one with the nice boobies, I didn't realise she had a dog too, a lovely cocker spaniel, she was getting on a bit (the cocker, not the friend!), bless her but she put up with all sorts from me, I was jumping all over her and she just never made a fuss although she did look a bit disgruntled when I got carried away, well I'm young, I got urges if ya know what I mean!  

Then I had to go to Pets at Home, I was whisked off by Becky and one of her workmates, she had this gun thingy, kerpow!, they got me right in between my shoulder blades, apparently I am now "chipped" but I didn't mind too much, Becky fed me loads of treats 'cos I was a good boy! (Shit my halo is bound to slip soon!).  The bint bought me "stuff", I got a squeaky ball - man, she hates it, especially first thing in the morning.  

It was the Tesco run after that, I have to STAY INSIDE my carriage when she stocks up on my puppy food, I'm guessing she bought other stuff, food for the furry things too I suppose.  The furry things and I seem to be getting on a bit better although it's a bit of a scramble in the mornings, when she's filling food bowls, she keeps shouting at me "B.B.'s bowl" and pointing to this green plastic bowl yet the bloody furry things get CHINA bowls - hurrumph!

Yesterday was Sunday, I went to the car park next to the river again and I met two collies, it was brilliant fun, running between their legs and grabbing their tails.  We had about an hour down there and I was completely exhausted when we got home, I dragged my arse into my bed and just collapsed for at least an hour - then it was off down the garden, inspect the pond, eat a few raspberries - I think the bint must grow them just for me, well they're just the right height!  I have discovered the hole in the fence, but I don't venture too far when I escape - YET!

Off to the vets tomorrow, second injection, chrissakes I really hope we don't have a repeat performance of the chaos that ensued when I had my first jag!  It took the bint ages to clean the kitchen floor!

Laters!

BB

22 August 2012

Helloooooooooo!!!  I tried to get the bint to update this yesterday after we got back from our walk but she was too exhausted!  Hell, she best take up jogging or something if she's going to keep up with me!

So, what can I tell you about my walk, the bint took me down the black path, back of B&Q, we didn't go too far on account of my little legs!  I met a bloody MONSTER!! Man, he was 50 times the size of me, the bint explained he was a Newfoundland and I have to admit he was very gentle, even when I decided to hang off his ears but chrissakes if he'd shaken his head with me attached I would have been a goner!  I then met a pug who was quite nice, just snuffled round me a lot.  

By this time the bint was thirsty, she took me into the Ladhope, she told the guys that she thought it was a good place to get me socialised, socialised my arse, did she think I couldn't see that bloody pint glass in front of her.  Someone was throwing crisps for this bitch, she was white and had curly hair, quite cute really - obviously I'm going to have an eye for the older ladies, the bint should have called me Rooney!  She was a bit slow though, I kept getting the crisps first!  I think I pissed her off in the end, she turned her back on me.  I just crashed when I got home, it had been a lot to take in in one evening.

Went to the office as normal today, some rep called in, she was all over me like a rash!  I ventured a little bit further from the office, well I didn't want to sound like a wimp so I kept my mouth shut but I was a little lost!  As it turns out I was only at the back of the office and as soon as I heard the bint call me I knew where to go - phew!

We got home from the office, I tried to snuggle up to G, the furry thing, but he was having none of it, well when I say snuggle, that's not STRICTLY true, I was lying in my bed on the decking, G was lying on the concrete which is a few inches below the decking, I decided that my two front legs would rest quite comfortably on top of him, he didn't think so!

When we went for a walk tonight, I'd only gone 200 yards and man I just HAD to go, the bint (who is blonde remember!) had forgotten the bloody poo bags!  I was scooped up, carried all the way home whilst she got poo bags then we had to start again!  She seemed quite relieved that the poo was still there, where the hell did she think it was going!  We went a different route tonight, I never met any four legged friends at all, but I did meet this family, I had to sit whilst they took my photo, I suppose I am going to have to get used to it!

I'm sprawled across the sofa at the mo, in the bint's space of course!

Signing off for now.

Laters

BB

21 August 2012

Ya missed me?   Well, blame the bint, I DICTATE every day but I only got paws, WHAT! Ya thought I typed this as well, chrissakes, get a grip - I am a DOG, the bint is the one with the fingers!

Well, I have been busy - as ever - went to Pets at Home on Friday, I got a harness now, the collar has gone to a good home, although what her friends' cat will think when he discovers the label "Good Puppy" on it, well I think he might develop a chip on the shoulder, I met him once or twice when I went to the bbq - he was sooooo much bigger than me, but he got my measure and backed off!

The bint took me to Pets at Home AGAIN on Saturday, she'd discovered fleas!  I'm sorted now, I have also got a "Pee Post", this is SUPPOSED to attract me so I only pee in the one place, well, the blonde side of her has surfaced again, if she thinks I ain't going to mark every inch of that garden, well she's got another think coming!

We had a brill weekend all in all, although when it rained Sunday evening I was NOT best pleased to be dragged down the garden and listen to the bint droning on "Go pee BB, go pee" - I'll pee when I'm bloody good and ready woman!

It was back to the office yesterday - I've discovered an enormous field at the back, I've not ventured through the fence yet, there's great big woolly things in there, the bint tells me they're sheep, she's going to ask the farmer if she can introduce me to them when I'm bigger.  

Last night she had friends round, well I was fussed and cuddled for ages, I tried biting her friends' arse through the slats on the bench but the slats were just too close together, so I got her boobies instead!  Her other friend had nice boobies too - well what's a guy to do, they just seem to be puppy magnets!

The postman turned up at the office at lunchtime, he's a nice guy, always gives me a fuss, then we had a delivery driver arrive, man, he was fun - he'd got shorts on, they just reached below his knees, handy for me - I wasn't really trying to drag them off, they were just handy that's all!

This evening, apparently, I am allowed out on my first proper walk, I'll lull her into a false sense of security of course, I'll behave myself, shit, she has no idea of what trouble I'm storing up for her!  (By the way, the bint has had a word with me about my language but sometimes there's only one way of expressing oneself - you'll note that I was polite when I said boobies and not tits!)

Will let ya know how the walk was and who I met.

Laters!!

BB

15 August 2012

Holy Moley!!!!!!!!!!!  These are two new words I learned today.  It was the exclamation the bint made when she opened the door to my prison.  Well, whether it was a reaction to the jag or what I do not know, but hell she had some cleaning up to do, I also had a little trouble with my water bowl, so the prison floor was awash!

Anyways she took me straight outside expecting me to have a pee, didn't she think I'd done enough overnight?  Now this toilet training malarkey just ain't going to work - my name is BB and the bint is taking me outside and saying "pee-pee" - chrissakes, is she trying to confuse me or what!

We went off to work, well she works and I just laze around a lot, it's brill where she works, there's loads of twigs lying around so I just pick them up, take them through to my bed and make a hell of a mess!  

We had a little trip out today, the bint had  banking to do or something, after my experience on Monday of being left in the back of my carriage when traffic was hurtling by, she obviously thought better of leaving me so she took me into the bank, well, of course, my natural charm just got them round my little paw and I wasn't thrown out.  We got back to the office and I popped over to the boss' house with the bint, had a cuddle off the kids then it was time for a wee nap.

We got home, S and G were out on the decking, I think we might get on (eventually), I was all for biting the back of G's legs but the bint stopped me.  We stayed outside for a while but then it started raining -  A LOT!

All evening the bint has been trying to get me outside, if she thinks I am going ANYWHERE when it's raining WITHOUT a Barbour, she can bloody well think again.

Well, that's me exhausted again.

See ya

BB

14 August 2012

Had a lie in this morning, I was right about the damned vet, still it meant I had a lie in until 7!

Made a bit of a mistake, the bint took me straight outside for a pee but I hopped back inside and decided to use the door mat instead, hell, I can't be perfect all the time.

We went off to the vet, was quite a nice place really, well it was until I went into this small room, God save me from blondes, yes the vet was blonde too!  I was put on this table and apparently  I weigh 2.4kilos, not bad for a little 'un eh!  Anyway after prodding me, shining bloody lights in my eyes and cupping me in a very embarrassing place I was pronounced A1, but then I knew that anyway!

I wasn't prepared for that needle going in the back of my neck mind!  Dumb broad of a vet managed to nick a blood vessel but was good for the sympathy vote.  Look, look bint - I'm BLEEDING, didn't last long so neither did the sympathy!

We drove off from the vets, apparently I have to go back in two weeks!  Nobody ASKED me if I wanted to go back!  I gave a hell of a yelp from the back of my carriage between Earlston and Lauder, didn't work, the bint carried on driving until she got to the office, you would have thought she would have made an emergency stop in the middle of a trunk road to make sure I was ok, but oh no, she just carried on - I mean I could have collapsed in a heap or anything, I think I was suffering from "Needle Shock Syndrome" personally.

The bint's boss' kids came to see me again today, they'll be great fun when I'm bigger and able to get outside into the big wide world.  The bint carries me more or less everywhere but in a week's time - I've got freedom!!!!

She "thinks" she's training me, man I'm peed off with her saying "BB, come"!  In the end I just do it to shut her up, she's trying to stop me jumping up at people too, how the hell else am I supposed to attract attention when I'm so wee!

We've sorted the cat/dog food conundrum out, I eat cat food and the cats eat that dried crap she's trying to give me!  Although, apparently, according to the blonde vet bitch, dog food would really be better for me - how the hell does she know, did she work as a cat/dog food taster when she was at uni or something!

Anyways peeps, signing off for now.

See ya

BB

13 August 2012

Did I have a rude awakening or what!  Chrissakes!!,  it was hardly light and the bint barged into the kitchen closely followed by the big furry thing, yes I do know he's a cat, I just prefer "thing".  Man, he's four times the size of me!   Anyways I upset S, he may be bigger but I am quicker and got to the cat bowls first!

The bint was quite proud of me though, I had peed on the newspaper during the night and when we went outside I did a No. 2.  However. being in the good books wasn't to last, I blame the bint myself (of course!), she put me in my carriage (Honda 4x4 to anyone else but I kinda claimed the back end) and LEFT ME!!!!!!!!!  She came up a few minutes later carrying bags, beds and toys but the damage had been done, well, I just ain't used to traffic flying by, I had peed on my posh bed (as opposed to my everyday bed - I'm wrapping the bint round my little paw!) and well, no other word for it  really, crapped myself!

We went for a drive half way round Selkirkshire, she picked her pal up to take her to work and by the time she had driven through Earlston and Lauder she was a tad late.  The laminate flooring on the office floor will take some getting used to, bit slippery don't ya know.  

I'm under the impression that we have a vet's appointment tomorrow, I heard her yakking about jags and micro-chips (unless she meant the eating kind - hmm!) - talking of which she's still giving me that dried crap, I eat a bit now and again but I really, really like the Iams S and G get AND it means I'll never get hairballs!   I've seen G sneak a few mouthfuls of my crap so fair's fair!

Anyway it must be lunchtime, time for a snooze.

Catch you all later.

BB

12 August 2012

What a day!!!

The bint let me out of my "prison" about 8am, man I was busting for a pee!  

The bint and I sat on the decking, she was drinking coffee and hammering nails into her coffin lid, does she not realise how bad smoking is for her, I plan to be around for quite a few years and a dead bint is no good to me!

This was when I met the furry things properly for the first time, the bigger of the two, who I will just call S as I think he might be quite a smart cookie who might just read what my intentions towards him are, how dare he lash out at me, he caught me a bloody good one right across my nose!  The other one, whom I shall call G, well, I think he has got me sussed, I am scared shitless of him!  (However, I have some growing to do and he has not!)

Eventually the bint took me to Pets at Home to buy a CUDDLY toy, sheesh, she really is blonde, did she think I couldn't see those rabbits and guinea pigs running round - I could have had so much more fun!

We got back home, I'd been very good but I am only little and consequently have a very little bladder which needs emptying regularly, the bint has a cream rug!!!  I bet that'll go shortly!

We spent the afternoon outside, I threw the CUDDLY toy out of my bed every so often so the  bint thought I had a modicum of interest in it!

All in all been an exhausting day, I don't know what the plans are for tomorrow!!!

See ya

BB

11 August 2012

11 August 2012 - Ma and I were with J & L, the people who had the farm in Dumfries & Galloway, they had taken us to Peebles Show.  Anyhow, to cut a long story short, whilst we were walking round the show, I had a collar on for the first time which I did not like at all, however, as it had a matching lead in a nice blue tartan pattern I must admit to thinking that I must have looked the bee's knees, this blonde bint came up to J & L to ask if she could have a cuddle - sheesh, did she think I was a teddy bear or what!  In the end it got round to money, she wanted to buy me!!! Hell I'd never left Ma's side before now and this bint (she will forever be "bint" in my eyes) wanted to take me away.  

The bint was talking to J & L about my name, I was to be called Basher, after one of the bint's deceased spaniels, then she added BABY!!! So I am saddled with the moniker of Basher Baby, at least she had the grace to shorten it to BB.  I was thinking that I'd be a Tyson or Scarface maybe, you know, something with a bit of ATTITUDE.  I spent the afternoon in a marketing trailer being "ooed and aahed" at - I KNOW I'm cute for chrissakes!  The kids especially loved me, one family of kids had a lady Jack Russell at home and wanted to know if I was going to be at the show next year, I think they may have certain "designs" on my body and I might just "cosy up" to their bitch!

We left the show, have to admit the bint had quite a nice 4x4, plenty of room for me in the back don't ya know.  I hardly had time to inspect the new abode before I was whisked away to some bbq over the other side of town.  Once again, I was fussed and petted, hell what's a guy supposed to do. I tasted the bbq chicken which was very nice, the bint expects me to eat this dry stuff - crap!

A bit later on we went inside, I was sat on this very nice lady's lap when I decided to go for a little explore, I was sniffing round the coffee table, I couldn't help myself but I, I DISGRACED myself - the nice lady that owned the place was very gracious but REALLY I could have died of embarrassment!  The bint and I decided that an exit was required so I had a bit of time exploring the decking in my new garden, then I was put into the kitchen ON MY OWN and expected to sleep!  I whimpered for a while so the bint would feel guilty then I just hunkered down until morning. 

11 June 2012

11 June 2012 - this is the day I was born, Ma had me and my three brothers and sisters, I was born in Dumfries & Galloway, we had great fun on the farm but as we got older my brothers and sisters went away to other homes.  It was just Ma and me......